it’s “just” been 24 days into being live. feeling a bit discouraged I reached out to my peeps within the community all with different experiences. matches and situations come and go quickly or slow for each family. so much depends on if you receive a situation and how many you receive. being new at this whole thing, I was discouraged as to why we hadn’t gotten any news. this takes time. gods time, not my time.
wait. let me back up here. I’ll explain these terms I’ll be using and the “process” we are faced being live. first off, a “situation” means the bio of birth mom and baby situation. we get emailed her story and as much info she gave to agency. we review & discuss all the potential red flags and positive aspects as a family as well as seek guidance from a CAC consultant, Casey. at that point we can deny or move forward with “presenting”. presenting means we give the agency a green flag to show the birth parents our family profile book. at that point birth mom then decides whether or not she’d like to match. by us “presenting” we are accepting the match if they chose us.
situations are presented to us based on wish lists of the birth mothers. she has a set criteria that is most important to her and future of her baby. it could be state specific requests, # of kids already in family, openness of adoption etc. if we poses a certain number of qualities they are looking for then the agency contacts us and provides us with BM (birth mom) bio and we go from there. basically, we see the birth mom’s living situation, living expenses, background, history before she sees our book.
last Wednesday, while on a flight to NM, we had a “stork drop” call. this means a baby was born and mom chose an adoption plan after birth (this could happen for several reasons as well.) as I will not go into detail, we turned down that call. it’s a heartbreaking decision to make. we immediately began to second think ourselves. I felt heartache for that baby but was given the best advice that I will carry with me through this potentially long journey. Casey reminded me that our “no” will be someone else’s “yes” and vise versa. what’s a good fit for us, may not have been a good fit for someone else. this doesn’t make saying no any easier but it did give me a piece of mind. each situation is fragile. it’s something we will have to disect bc we also have Beckett to consider. we want to make sure he gets all the love & care along with all the love & care we will ensure this new baby. no one will be forgotten in this process.
to be continued…