i’ll find strength in the sadness.

I never had intention to write about each time we presented but it’s happening naturally. when all said & done, this is OUR journey.

during the week of waiting, i dreamt a vivid dream again. this time it was with mama “k”. we were talking on the phone. she was interviewing me. she asked me about my interests & daily life as a stay at home mom. telling me her hopes for this babe. the phone connection was broken so I was straining to hear her every last word (which is probably why I woke up with a stiff neck). I remember the feeling of being able to put her voice to her picture- it fit like a puzzle.

today we got the news:

“birth mom did not choose to move forward with your family.”

maybe our hearts are being prepared for the one through these trials… no matter what those words never get easier to hear.

i can’t help but to think:

“when is my luck going to turn around?”

“when are we going to catch a break?”

“at what point are we going to prove that we are strong & faithful.”

I am ready for the trials & tribulations to turn into a family of 4 full of life + love + strength + security.

I want to put my guard up.  i want to not get so invested.  i want to be able to roll with the punches.  i don’t want this to consume me.

thank YOU for all the outpour of prayers you are sending; the love + support you guys give are very encouraging & inspiring.

thank you.

be brave. 🏹


One thought on “i’ll find strength in the sadness.

  1. Keep the faith. As a Mom of two who came to us, the failed attempts were just not meant to be. That child will come…. Keep believing……Keep your heart open to till your arms are cuddling your child.


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