a hidden emotion.

we all intended to meet mama L one week after she had chosen us to be brooklyn’s forever family. she invited us to go to all future appointments and ultrasounds until birth. plans changed quickly as she went into labor one month before her due date. this meant that michael never had the chance to meet her before bk’s was born. the night her water broke, we thought it was best for him to stay with beckett. waking up to a stranger can be traumatizing and this poor dudes world was about to be totally rocked.

it was up to her to come see myself or the baby or to meet michael. we left that up to her. we didn’t push them to meet but we did welcome it when michael came to meet brooklyn for the first time.

fast forward 3 months, michael comes home from work the other day and tells me he has something to show me. he gets his phone out and shows me a screen shot.

a screen shot of a picture of brooklyn.

on someones Facebook.

mama L’s Facebook!

my heart stopped.

my jaw dropped.

my brain went blank.

there was no caption.

there were no emoji’s.

just a picture i took of our beautiful baby girl on her birth mom’s page.

image-20

never ever ever did i think i would see something like this.

never did i think i would have confirmation she was getting our letters & pictures that i was putting together monthly and sending to our agency.

this. this was confirmation.

i couldn’t help but to think she was proud. proud of us? proud of her daughter? proud of herself? to post something like this on an open platform for anyone to view, welcomes the opportunity for accusations, assumptions, questions, comments, judgments…

to me, sharing this picture shows some sort of appreciation… whether that be for the time i put into the updates or the love we are pouring into this girl.

seeing this picture was shocking. relieving. breathtaking. comforting.

my heart couldn’t go into a negative space.

i never knew how much i needed this until i saw it.

image-27

 

be brave.

 

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One thought on “a hidden emotion.

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