stick + stones.

labels.

let’s talk about them.

one of the most frequent questions I get is regarding my thoughts and feelings about being labeled adopted or an adoptee. So let’s think about this together. Aren’t social media hashtags labeling? Isn’t your bio on Instagram that states adoptive parent or adoption advocate a label? Aren’t books titles “We Adopted You” labeling? Birth mom, birth father, labels? Even ‘friend’ or ‘author’ or ‘athlete’ all labels?

Do you think all labels are a detriment, withholding or just certain ones?

I am not here to tell you labels are bad or they are good. Personally, they are just that, a label. A category. ‘Adoptee’ isn’t my only title but it’s a chapter to my story. It doesn’t determine how I should or how I have lived my life. It never dictated certain decisions or created certain paths.

How did it affect me as a child, how does it affect me know?

In elementary school I was known as the girl who was adopted.

In high school, I was known as the girl whose mom died.

In no way did I let those terms degrade who I was. Is that a personality trait? How I was raised?

Adoptive mama doesn’t define me as what type of mother I am. It doesn’t make me real or fake, first or last, less or more. My son being labeled a preemie doesn’t limit him for his future but knowing this part of his story maybe helpful in a school setting or future endeavors. These labels, they can help us use our voices. They can help us in areas in our lives we may struggle or were we may thrive. I have made the choice and my mission to not let labels negatively affect me.

I am so incredibly proud to be an adoptee.

I am so incredibly proud to be an adoptive mother.

I am so incredibly proud to be a mama of a thriving 29-weeker.

I am so incredibly lucky to have been reunited with my birth mom and birth father.

I am so incredible honored to now know my birth mother and birth father.

I am so incredibly lucky to have been raised by the most altruistic adoptive parents.

I am aware that the way I feel about labeling isn’t the case for all adoptees/people but we are all different, unique and that is what makes this all okay! All of our stories start and develop in  their own ways. We aren’t always all happy or all sad. Labels are not the end all. They shouldn’t be blanket statements that define our struggles or our accomplishments. They are a small part of our identity. A chapter to our story.

I feel like you have the choice and the voice to embrace and hold proud your label(s). On the flip side I believe you can let it take over and become a negative tagline. I believe you have the ability and the right to change your level of comfort with your label. I believe your perspective can and will change as you navigate through childhood- adolescence-adulthood.

go ahead, label me, I dare you.

be brave.

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3 thoughts on “stick + stones.

  1. I have a daughter that could not get pregnant spent a lot of money trying to and then made a great decision she got to know a mother that was going to give up her baby when the baby’s mother went in to deliver the baby they met her at the hospital and we’re part of the delivery and had already made arrangements for adoption he is now 11 years old he is my grandson how we all love him without labeling because he is our have you heard through all the years what a beautiful boy I absolutely feel there is no difference and your whole family and others feel the same way. We all are very happy that God has given us such a great gift your friend Jim

    Like

    1. I have a daughter that could not get pregnant spent a lot of money trying to and then made a great decision she got to know a mother that was going to give up her baby when the baby’s mother went in to deliver the baby they met her at the hospital and we’re part of the delivery and had already made arrangements for adoption he is now 11 years old he is my grandson how we all love him without labeling because he is our have you heard through all the years what a beautiful boy I absolutely feel there is no difference and your whole family and others feel the same way. We all are very happy that God has given us such a great gift your friend Jim

      Like

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